I’m overwhelmed and I’m not getting much of what needs to be done, done. There I’ve said it. I know I had a jolly weekend away to Brighton and London and I needed the break. Oh eM Gee did I need that break and I had a BRILLIANT time in Brighton. I really needed the break but the truth is my life looks like this right now:
To be clear the 20% sleep equates to on average 4.8hrs in any 24 hour time period, I’m typing this as I am printing stuff off for a meeting in Lincoln tomorrow I can hear Baby G not settling for Mr L and when the printer stops I will pack my bag and go and settle her. I always seem to have a hat on – wife, mother, marketer, social media bod, consultant, confidante friend. I like being busy I really do – give me 100 things to do and I’ll do 99 or 100 of them, give me three and I’ll do almost certainly none, that’s how I’m built. I guess that’s what people call drive. I guess that’s what people call determination. I guess that’s what people want from me in my working life and what my children need me to do for them.
There is fall out though. I am tired. I am overwhelmed most of the time. I am frustrated by stuff that slides, stuff that I used to be able to stay on top off when I was a working mother to just Lil’ H, now a self employed working mother with two children I am not quite getting to do a lot of stuff I used to be able to. It has made me very self critical and super sensitive – one person can be out of order, two people possible but if everyone is out of line then the issue isn’t with other people its with me. That’s just how I feel at the moment. Most of the time. I have stopped seeing people deliberately, its easier not to. I have cancelled pretty much everything and am not arranging anything over and above playdates and local stuff weekends away etc are all on hold. Yet I still feel just as busy as before. What is that all about?
Anyway print outs are out, Baby G is still up so I am off to grab my 4.8 hours – all help and advice gratefully received!
Oh you poor thing. If it helps I know exactly how you feel – I’m finding working with two much harder than one and so much else is falling by the wayside
Wish I could wave a magic wand and make it better for both of us
Not sure I can offer any valid advice – I’m just a novice 1 baby household here with hardly any work & not too many non-working friends to clutter my diary. I would say though, your ‘overwhelmedness’ does not show to me – you still had time to help a mummy with baby poo out in her time of need! Thank you! Hugs from all of us in Macclesfield. Just remember – there is no ‘cash prize’ for getting everything done every day – no one comes round with a clip board to score you! Try to fit at least one indulgent thing in a week (take away, all day in PJs, hairdo). You deserve to feel better about the balance of your pie chart (v impressed by the way with your graphic!). Hope it balances out soon. M xxxx
Like Margaret, I am novice in a one-baby household and am not currently working. But, I can remember back to the relentlessness of a marketing career very easily and am experiencing the (albeit v. rewarding) relentlessness of looking after a baby full time – with the planning and having of a wedding in the mix between four and 8 months!). So, I have every respect for you that you are managing to work and look after two little ones.
Something my mum said to me in response to a period when I was feeling overwhelmed was, take the word ‘should’ out of your vocabulary. Me being me, I ignored her at first, but then it dawned on me that when you stop worrying about all the things you ‘should’ do and just focus on the things that you need to do, you have a lot shorter to do list.
Another thought is that these days, when I am having a bit of a down moment about the seemingly ever decreasing circles of my life, I remind myself that nothing is forever, babies and children grow and change so quickly. And in response to that, I try and remember to live in the moment, accept that whatever the current situation, it is what it is, beating myself up about it won’t do anything to help.
And finally… remember to breathe! I began to notice that when I was racing round trying to get 101 things done whilst the baby napped, I was so overly focused on getting everything done against the clock, that I was literally forgetting to breath. Slowing down and remembering to breathe takes away the pent up stress and anxiety and instantly makes me feel better about myself.
Hope these thoughts are of some use and that you stop feeling so overwhelmed soonest.
Just welled up a bit when I read this as this exact post has been in my head for weeks. The only difference would have been the photo above the writing. Oh and the marketing bit. I don’t know jack sheeet about that but oh, well you get my point. We is same!
I know there is a lot of underlying stuff also that you haven’t written too. Again same here.
Love you Clairey. xxx
I can see in your post, what others say about me – We are self-critical, and nothing will CHANGE that – but it’s how we ‘choose’ to manage these thoughts.
Look at things from the ‘outside’. You are an extremely determined person – whatever you want, you will achieve – but at what price???
You have been a MASSIVE influence on some of the decisions/issues/general life ‘challenges’ I’ve faced over the last year and have ALWAYS been soooooo supportive, for that I want to thank you.
So whilst I can’t really help with your original post – I want you to realise that you have a BIG network of people out here that admire what you do (and we don’t even see the tip of the iceberg that is ‘Lancaster-Life’) but we are all here to offer back, just a tiny bit of what you’ve given EVERYBODY else.
Please please please continue to share with us all – as it ‘helps to talk’ eh! And I’m sure I speak for everybody – you MUST ask us if there’s anything we can do to help. That’s something else that I’ve learned – people are always happy to help – it’s genuine offers! Go GRAB them hun 🙂
I’m rambling now & going to end up with an Oscar-esque Paltrow-appreciation ramble – but mine is one of the genuine offers. Please shout hun if I can do ANYTHING.
xxx