A pre-post warning – if you are under 3 years old this is a sad story, if you are older I hope you will find it amusing! 

 Two months ago when Baby G was born both Baby G and Lil H were given helium balloons to celebrate  their arrival in this world and promotion to big brother respectively.  Lil H has always been a big fan of helium balloons and has had a lot of enjoyment over the last 8 weeks with it.  But 8 weeks on and what was a big, full, round balloon bobbing & bouncing along the ceiling had become a floppy, saggy, crinkly bit of foil limping around the living room floor.  Mr L put H to bed whilst I put the living room back in order returning the toys to their correct boxes and refilling the toy box in anticipation of it all being emptied again tomorrow.  This pathetic bit of foil limped towards me.  On the basis that it frankly didn’t qualify as a balloon anymore, I mean it didn’t even float for gods sake!  I didn’t think anything of picking the flaccid foil pocket up, swiftly putting it out of its misery with the kitchen scissors and then unconsciously I stuffed it in the kitchen bin.  I did all this without a first, second or any other kind of thought.  If it’s not there my little H will never notice nor know or care.  Shortly after Lil’ H appeared downstairs holding his cup requesting more milk, he then spied his consumed “fruit squeezy” from tea time and decided he’d prefer that to milk.  I told him to go back to bed and I would bring his milk up, I also told him to “pop that in the bin on your way please”.  Again I did this all without thinking, the total absence of thought is very evident at all times throughout this tale isn’t it?!

H reappeared at the kitchen door holding the flat, lifeless, bounce free bit of foil.  “Mum you squashed my balloon” he accused.  I didn’t know what to say, I think I may have even started to blush!  “Mum you squashed my balloon” he repeated louder and even sadder.  I had to turn away as I felt a bad case of the giggles coming on because he looked so, so, so disproportionately sad about this!   H was soothed with the explanation it had “popped” and returned to bed with the promise of a new one. 

Phew – thankfully he isn’t old enough to examine the evidence, if he has he would have seen the clean, sharp, deliberate cuts of the kitchen scissors wielded by his mother in the unprovoked slashing! 

I confess I am a Helium Killer!