I’m overwhelmed and I’m not getting much of what needs to be done, done.  There I’ve said it.  I know I had a jolly weekend away to Brighton and London and I needed the break.  Oh eM Gee did I need that break and I had a BRILLIANT time in Brighton.  I really needed the break but the truth is my life looks like this right now:To be clear the 20% sleep equates to on average 4.8hrs in any 24 hour time period, I’m typing this as I am printing stuff off for a meeting in Lincoln tomorrow I can hear Baby G not settling for Mr L and when the printer stops I will pack my bag and go and settle her.  I always seem to have a hat on – wife, mother, marketer, social media bod, consultant, confidante friend.  I like being busy I really do – give me 100 things to do and I’ll do 99 or 100 of them, give me three and I’ll do almost certainly none, that’s how I’m built.  I guess that’s what people call drive.  I guess that’s what people call determination.  I guess that’s what people want from me in my working life and what my children need me to do for them. 

There is fall out though.  I am tired.  I am overwhelmed most of the time.  I am frustrated by stuff that slides, stuff that I used to be able to stay on top off when I was a working mother to just Lil’ H, now a self employed working mother with two children I am not quite getting to do a lot of stuff I used to be able to.  It has made me very self critical and super sensitive – one person can be out of order, two people possible but if everyone is out of line then the issue isn’t with other people its with me.  That’s just how I feel at the moment.  Most of the time.  I have stopped seeing people deliberately, its easier not to.  I have cancelled pretty much everything and am not arranging anything over and above playdates and local stuff weekends away etc are all on hold.  Yet I still feel just as busy as before.  What is that all about? 

Anyway print outs are out, Baby G is still up so I am off to grab my 4.8 hours – all help and advice gratefully received!

Well they make me feel good anyway.  The lovely folks at Interflora spotted I was having a pretty tough week last week and sent me a bouquet – how nice is that?!  I need to bring you up to speed on what’s going on with me, us, life at Lancaster Towers and I will in more detail I promise, but for I had a tough week last week. 

To be honest I was, no other word for it, whingeing about it on Twitter.   I am trying to get back to work, I landed a big proposal, Mr L was supposed to be home was away again.  It was the second week of our new childcare arrangements (which are totally brilliant) but it all felt a bit new, mixed with meetings, deadlines and professional work wardrobe, nothing f*cking fits, clothing and footwear dilemmas!  OMG do not look at my feet, these boots are made for the noughties and I should be shot!  So last week it felt all a bit out of control and overwhelming.  I worked until 3am Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday night, juggled the kids, made the deadlines, no one died and we all lived happily ever after! 

There was a silver lining around this cloud in the form of a rather beautiful bouquet!

Thank you Interflora, yes it absolutely made my day, it cheered me up no end, I continue to enjoy them, 6 days on and they are all still blooming lovely.  Thank you for the flowers and reminding me how lovely it is to receive them. 

*Ahem* Mr L – you seem to have a been excessively absent this term – you might want to take note!  So tell me does your husband buy you flowers?

I have just finished a baby massage course with Baby G, I did the same with Lil’ H and we all have really enjoyed massages as part of the bedtime routine. Claire who runs the course has the poem below displayed and I love it.  It really struck a cord with me about where I am right now in life.  It makes me stop, remember and appreciate how precious this time is with my children while they are so little.  Meetings, boardrooms, committees and emails will all still be there in two years time but my babies won’t be babies anymore.

I hope my baby looks back on today
and remembers a parent who had time to play
There’s years ahead for cleaning and cooking
but babies grow up – while your not looking
So settle down cobwebs and dust go to sleep
I’m cuddling my baby and babies don’t keep

*This is NOT a sponsored post* I simply wanted to share the poem however I can’t recommend Claire highly enough so if you’re interested her Baby Massage courses are in Alderley Edge, Wilmslow and Macclesfield and Claire can be contacted by email to mybabymassage@googlemail.com or through www.iaim.org.uk

This Friday’s Follow Friday theme are some of my favourite mummy businesses on Twitter – not a comprehensive list by any stretch – but they have helped me with their great products and services and maybe you would like them too… check them out …

MumsLikeYou (Ivet Nikolov) founder www.mumslikeyou.com online mums community
Tums2Mums (Dany Griffiths) lovely lady, hynobirthing guru & resources
Soph4Soph inspirational childrens wear - god daughter gifts – tick!
justdresses because they embracing all things girlie at www.justdresses.co.uk
Aroma4kids loving their Special Little People range - the Christmas blend is devine!
childrensjewell fab childrens jewellery – more off the Christmas list from here!

I was invited and delighted to contribute to the “Secret Weblife” series over at Self-Employed Mum so here’s the inside track on my internet explorer delights!

Hello!  My name is Claire Lancaster, I am mum to 2½ year old Hugo with baby number two due early October 2009.  I am a self employed marketing consultant and founder of Dandelion Lounge www.dandelionlounge.co.uk.  My consultancy business specialises in helping clients establish and maximise their customer relationships through their marketing initiatives and Dandelion Lounge is an online store offering personalised stationery celebrating babies, children & family milestones.  Here are my top five favourite online stop offs …

http://econsultancy.com In terms of a frequent professional port of call my starting point for most things is here.  Econsultancy publish a wide range of guides, benchmarks, studies, surveys and stats.  As the online arena is so fast paced and such a critical component of all my clients businesses as well as the backbone of my own, time spent here helps me keep me up to speed and my finger (allegedly!) on the pulse! 

http://www.ebay.co.uk I have been an “eBay-er” for over 5 years now and mostly I use it to sell stuff I don’t like, need or use anymore.  I have been especially busy on eBay in the last few months selling my sons grown out of clothes (all four suitcase of them!) as baby number two is a girl.  Now I have a nice pot of money to indulge my addiction to buying children’s clothes and Brio train set pieces with!

http://www.notonthehighstreet.com I like to be different when it comes to gifts and I discovered this site in 2007 when I was housebound with a newborn baby, shopping withdrawal symptoms and gifts to buy!  This site makes it possible to buy amazing and unusual things, children’s clothes you’ve never seen before and charming, thoughtful and original gifts that people always ask “where did you get that from?”  All things you’d never find on the average high street. 

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com I am the “financial director” in our home.  I look after where our money is, or as importantly isn’t, spent and invested and keeping on top of that is one of my many jobs.  This site by Martin Lewis helps make this a much easier task.  I would say it is a pro-consumer guide to being financially savvy in all aspects of your life with some great tools, tricks and offers.  The weekly newsletter is one of only a few of the many I subscribe to that I make sure I always read.

http://www.kodakgallery.co.uk I love my photographs, the driving factor in Dandelion Lounge. I love taking, using, looking at and sharing my photos. Every month, well I try to do it every month but sometimes its every few, I load all the photo’s I’ve taken and share these with our family. My husband’s side live 250 miles away so it updates the grandparents, their boasting books and living room photo frames – it also acts like a free off site back up for our digital photos too!