Starting Primary School – what I’ve learnt so far
Lil H started primary school a fortnight ago. He’s my first child which makes me first time primary school mum. A fortnight on and here’s what I know.
The weeks of thoughts, anticipation and tears (mine) of my first child’s first day at primary school are all worse than the reality.
Settling in half days are a nightmare to manage for everyone involved, a week is more than enough. Two weeks is a shocker!
There is a right and wrong way into the class room and cloakroom – it won’t be obvious as both feel like a salmon swimming upstream.
What my child’s coat looks like matters not, it’s whether he can do it up by themselves and take it off without it going inside out that counts.
Your coat is your number one fashion item, its the only thing other parents on the school run see. I need to an alternative to my North Face and quick!
No matter how friendly I am towards other parents some people are just not be friendly at all. This is their loss, a shame for their children and is of no relevance to me or my child.
Parents with older siblings already at the school mostly have no interest in anything to do with first time reception parents. See above point.
I am expected to order most things through the school so they get a commission – naming labels, books etc.
I must remember to not just label clothes, label EVERYTHING including drink bottles, lunch bags, lunch boxes – we are one lunch box down already!
My Lil H aged 4 needs a dedicated PA to manage the correspondence with school. In the absence of funding this additional workload falls to yours truly.
Parentmail will fill the quietest of inboxes a daily flurry of notifications, requests and dates.
I need a babysitter that is not my mum.
How’s it been for you?
What have you learnt at the school gate so far this September?
Category: Parenting, Personal & Family | Tags: Lil' H, reception, Starting primary school 10 comments »
September 21st, 2011 at 6:59 am
You are so right. I just got the boys school coats from Aldi (£12.99) they are fab and even better their hoods are integral and not stitched on so can not be ripped off when playing superman!
September 21st, 2011 at 8:44 am
Exactly the same here!
You drop off in a different place to where you collect from & then there are 2 different gates to choose from!
Apart from my neighbour, in 2 weeks not one other parent has spoken to me, despite me always trying to openly smile at them when waiting outside the classroom – I’m getting a little fed up of trying now though.
September 21st, 2011 at 9:27 am
Another note on the coat, don’t get a crested school one like everyone else. Something easy to spot and different from the other children’s. We’re down a school fleece already and my daughter’s in year 4 so should be more than capable of reading a name tag and putting a coat on a peg!
Last year it was a cardigan lost in the first week that never returned.
My other top tip is not to get things with characters on. My LO had the mickey taken out of her dreadfully in Yr 2 for having a Disney Princesses lunchbox; she had to deny liking them even though she did to get the girls to stop laughing at her for being babyish. Really sad. She has a cool elephant one now instead, much easier then trying to work out if HSM, Hannah Montanna, Barbie or Bratz is cool.
Enjoy infants – it goes so fast!
September 21st, 2011 at 11:59 am
These are the things I’ve discovered.
I feel really crap about having to work full time, it seems the majority of mum’s are able to drop off and pick up and unless I wing it, I’m not. I never felt like this when E was in private nursery because all the parents were in the same boat.
The guilt I felt, when in her 2nd week she had to go to breakfast club was massive.
Just because your daughter goes to the same dance class as another little girl in her class the mother of said girl will still blank you in the playground.
I miss the daily updates I used to get from nursery about what she’d ate, done etc. I wasn’t prepared for her to just run our of school and for her to forget ‘everything’ about her day.
I am really struggling to juggle school hours with working full time and feel constantly mithered.
I’m hoping things balance out in a few weeks.
Nic
September 21st, 2011 at 1:28 pm
As a mum that has been around the proverbial playground once before the second time is so much easier. I have come to realise: if you don’t make the effort to talk no one will talk to you, it took to at least year 2 with my first before I had any mum friends. This time I didn’t give anyone the choice as to whether to speak to me, the other mums are a great source of knowledge, support, friendship and emergency pick ups and summer holidays would be an even longer affair without regular meet ups and picnics.
The other thing I have learned is not to believe a thing your child says ask the teacher. My friend got into a bit of hot water with this when her daughter complained that someone had said “I like your F***ing hat” she marched into school to complain about the other childs language, only to be told that he said “I like your funky hat”.
September 21st, 2011 at 7:07 pm
We graduated from Reception to Yr1 in September but I still remember the nerves, anxiety, excitement and anticipation from last year (me, not him). No Charlie was fine and strolled in confidently on day one and never looked back.
I learned very quickly that Charlie has permanent memory failure the minute he leaves the classroom and apparently spent the day at school doing nothing. However I was able to spot signs that pointed to what he had done during the day – glue/glitter/paint etc on his uniform obviously meant he had been doing craft. His trousers or top on back to front/inside out meant he had done PE. Look out for the signs….
I found it easier to make friends with mums once my son had formed his own friendship group. 5 months after starting school he had a solid group of boys he played regularly with and this led to natural conversation with their mums. There are 2 entrances to the school and I changed where I parked so that Charlie could walk into school with his mates and I could chat to the mums. We are all now firm friends and regularly get together. Give it time and those relationships will happen.
September 22nd, 2011 at 7:57 am
As a new mom, I am discovering a lot of similar things when going to play group. Yesterday was our third try and well I discovered
First Day everyone is nice and coos over your newborn
Second Day you start to migrate in groups (generally age dependant)
Third day you discover there are just some people you don’t gel with and it can become a uncomfortable.
I have the Fourth Day we will reorganise the groups formed on Second Day to sit closer to those we like to talk to.
It feels like secondary school all over again (and sounds like its going to be something I need to get used to).
September 22nd, 2011 at 1:02 pm
[...] Starting Primary School – what I’ve learnt so far [...]
September 22nd, 2011 at 2:47 pm
Thank you thank you thank you … I thought I was being a freak. I have now been taking my girls to school for 2 weeks and i only know 1 other mums name I thought I was failing, but I shall just keep persevering and hope people open up, I love hearing about their days …. And what did you do at big shool today girls …. Number 2′s mummy!!!!
September 25th, 2011 at 9:19 am
Sorry, late to this but here’s my take on it, having done it twice and on consecutive years too.
You will always gel more with the reception parents of your first child because when the second one starts, you are trying to keep your eye out for two children coming out of different classroom. With mine being in consecutive years, the classrooms exit in two totally different places and I was forever dashing between the two with no time to talk to the parents. I was more likely to be by the Year 1 classroom as they mostly came out first. It’s not necessarily I’m not interested, I’m there for my kids first and foremost.
I agree with whoever it was said that you’ll get to know more people as your child makes friends. I speak most to the parents of Monkey’s friends – and now Missy Woo too. After a while, I let Missy invite some friends home for tea so I got to talk to them. I wasn’t ever sure which parent was which (see above paragraph) so we did a note for the child to take home and the parent texted me.
I agree with you on the half days – but some do it for half a term, or as much as two. Be thankful for small mercies! Oh, and when doing it for second child, you’re at school 3 times a day. “It’s just for two weeks” was my mantra during that time!
At our school, parents are discouraged from coming in with children in the mornings. In reception, their cloakroom bit is in their classroom and they were encouraged to do that by themselves as quickly as possible. I only went in if I had to tell the teachers anything.
Don’t worry about ordering stuff through school. Only do it if it suits you or it’s compulsory and you can’t get it anywhere else. I don’t believe in doing things to save face. Some schools seem to dictate everything to parents, I think that’s a shame. Never feel obliged.
Ditto with the extra things school are running, esp if they are in the day time. It sounds like your school does a lot – which is fine if you are a SAHM but if you’ve got to earn a crust, then it can stop you from getting work done. I go to as much as I can but our school doesn’t have something every week.
I also think it’s sad you feel you have to have the right coat to be “seen” in. I don’t have the sort of money to keep going to buy coats and for me, the most important things are a) being warm and b) keeping the rain off – and I suspect most parents too. When you’ve had to wait for them to come out late and it’s peeing down with rain, you’ll care a lot less what you look like. If your North Face does the job, does it REALLY matter whether it’s fashionable or not? You are a real mum, not a celeb who has people to do pretty much everything for her.